The weather in my office has reached a sustained level of insanity. The cleverly designed nuclear furnace attached to my wall (disguised as a heater) is set to “MOLTEN SODIUM”. Nothing I can do about it. It’s also below freezing outside. Can’t change that either, as my weather control satellites are broken.

My options are:

a) Sit in my office with my door and my window open, where I alternate between boiling and freezing

b) Close my door and leave the window open, where there isn’t enough airflow, and I slowly roast

c) Close the window, where I break a sweat in less than 20 minutes.

Of course, being sane, I choose a). This has the nasty side effect of exposing me to sonic torture as the HVAC system located below my window comes on and off, as well as general road noise. There’s also the occasional odor of the street – carbon monoxide has never smelled so good. These factors combined make my sinuses try to kill me every day that I come to work, and have started waging war on my brain.