A few days ago I ran across a story about a group of novelests who wanted to write a truly scary, horror novel about vampires. Not the sparkly ones that are so popular these days, but real vampires. The author’s website told me that I could get the novel from Amazon as an eBook for $2.99, and truly, that was the only way to get it. They weren’t going through the normal publishing/distribution chain – everything was through Amazon.

They also said not to worry, as there was an easy way to get the Amazon eBook translated into whatever format you like.

So, I purchased the novel. I read the first few chapters on the Kindle for iPhone application, and while it was perfectly serviceable for reading text, I couldn’t stand using it. The text displays just fine, but the formatting is a little odd, the adjustments you can make to the font and the page color weren’t there. I don’t see easy ways to set bookmarks or even see what page number you are on. So, I set about translating the eBook from Amazon’s .azw file format to an .epub that I could load into iBooks.

Quickly, I had to contact Amazon’s customer support, as the instructions listed on the author’s site didn’t work, and Amazon’s help documentation didn’t give my any relief. In short, I was trying to get the “transfer by computer” option to work, so I’d have the .azw file I could mess with. After three emails back and forth between the Amazon Customer Service group, I finally got a definitive answer:

As explained by one of our previous colleagues the option “transfer via computer” is available only for people who possess a Kindle device and are out of the wireless coverage area. For Kindle applications you can download the content from your Manage Your Kindle page.

So, the author was misinformed, and the documentation wasn’t clear. The only way to get the novel readable outside a Kindle is to buy a Kindle. I know this is only over $2.99 – which is a pretty small sum – and when I emailed the authors, they had me sorted out within 24 hours. (Thanks, Blake Crouch!) But I leave the experience with Amazon feeling cheated and with an unpleasant taste in my mouth. I’m half tempted to shoot the authors $10.00 to tempt them to consider other distribution methods. I’m also amused that Amazon, a company that bills itself as the “Earth’s Most Customer-Centric Company”, has a customer support mechanism that prevents you from replying easily. They make you enter your support issues on the web, but send replies from “an address that cannot accept incoming e-mail.” Stay classy, Amazon.